Sean Leahy@thepunningman

“The bond’s Name. James Name”
Pleased to… what?
“Bond Name’s the james”
Are you alright?
“Bames Nond’s having a stronk, call a Bondulance”



Dana Schwartz


BELLE: There goes the baker with his tray like always
BAKER: well there goes Belle, singing her DAILY MEAN SONG about us


Jack Mull


When you’re garbage but still better than everyone else



*on Ellen*
ELLEN: so i hear u tweet about wanting to die
ME: haha yeah, i do
*Death comes out, creeps up behind me*
ME: omg ellen you didnt



pobre diabla@saucynatt

im prankin this guy as if im sending nudes but in reality…im literally typing “Attachment: 1 Image”


View image on TwitterView image on Twitter

Finessa Hudgens@coolado_

not sure what I’m supposed to do with this information


Amber Joy@officialambrjoy

How come when a house is ‘haunted’ its always a ghost from the 1700s? imagine a ghost from 2007 screaming “ITS BRITNEY BITCH” at 3 am.



One Weird Trick To Getting Universal Healthcare That American Insurance Companies Don’t Want You To Know


Shark Jelly@SharkJelly

[My Wedding]

Me: I do

Guests: Awww

Me: Or do I?

Guests: Ooooo


kevin shark@boynamedshark

it’s 90 degrees out. this is your moment, my guy. if not now, when ?


Conor Tripler@ConorTripler

*sits 27 hours for an oil on canvas portrait*
omg delete that. Bartholomew i’m serious do not fucking hang that in the Great Hall



Nobody talks about Jesus’ miracle of having 12 close friends in his 30s


Goth Ms. Frizzle@spookperson

ah, traveler, you must be tired
come, sit



me at 6 y/o: bilingual, genius iq, mentally healthy, able to do math

me at 18 y/o: illiterate, health is nonexistent, and needs a calculator to solve 6+8


Brianna Noelle@briannanoelled

Me, forcing myself to save money and cook instead of eating out



Some baby on this plane is singing the ABCs all out of order and a guy just shouted “yes girl remix!!”



Welcome, weary traveler, to my SHOP. How may I assist you?


matt tobey


“Anybody here named Jeff?”
Jeff: “Yes”
Geoff: “Yeos”


predictable queer@katydeedonnelly



Hamish Steele @ 🔥FlameConS145!!!🔥@hamishsteele

This video cassette I found at my grandmas house still makes me laugh so much



Somebody on IG said this is Doctor Strange and I’ve been hollering since then.

natalie camacho@natdatcat



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