2.

Sean Leahy@thepunningman

“The bond’s Name. James Name”
Pleased to… what?
“Bond Name’s the james”
Are you alright?
“Bames Nond’s having a stronk, call a Bondulance”

3.

4.

Dana Schwartz

@DanaSchwartzzz

BELLE: There goes the baker with his tray like always
BAKER: well there goes Belle, singing her DAILY MEAN SONG about us

5.

Jack Mull

@J4CKMULL

When you’re garbage but still better than everyone else

6.

rav@Doughbvy

*on Ellen*
ELLEN: so i hear u tweet about wanting to die
ME: haha yeah, i do
*Death comes out, creeps up behind me*
ME: omg ellen you didnt

7.

8.

pobre diabla@saucynatt

im prankin this guy as if im sending nudes but in reality…im literally typing “Attachment: 1 Image”

9.

View image on TwitterView image on Twitter

Finessa Hudgens@coolado_

not sure what I’m supposed to do with this information

10.

Amber Joy@officialambrjoy

How come when a house is ‘haunted’ its always a ghost from the 1700s? imagine a ghost from 2007 screaming “ITS BRITNEY BITCH” at 3 am.

11.

LadyBusiness@LadyBusiness_

One Weird Trick To Getting Universal Healthcare That American Insurance Companies Don’t Want You To Know

12.

Shark Jelly@SharkJelly

[My Wedding]

Me: I do

Guests: Awww

Me: Or do I?

Guests: Ooooo

13.

kevin shark@boynamedshark

it’s 90 degrees out. this is your moment, my guy. if not now, when ?

14.

Conor Tripler@ConorTripler

*sits 27 hours for an oil on canvas portrait*
omg delete that. Bartholomew i’m serious do not fucking hang that in the Great Hall

16.

Mormonger@Mormonger

Nobody talks about Jesus’ miracle of having 12 close friends in his 30s

17.

Goth Ms. Frizzle@spookperson

ah, traveler, you must be tired
come, sit

18.

melanie@anemicfatty

me at 6 y/o: bilingual, genius iq, mentally healthy, able to do math

me at 18 y/o: illiterate, health is nonexistent, and needs a calculator to solve 6+8

19.

Brianna Noelle@briannanoelled

Me, forcing myself to save money and cook instead of eating out

20.

kelsey@silence__kit

Some baby on this plane is singing the ABCs all out of order and a guy just shouted “yes girl remix!!”

21.

cam(pbell)@soyboyincarnate

Welcome, weary traveler, to my SHOP. How may I assist you?
> BUY
> SELL

22.

matt tobey

@mtobey

“Anybody here named Jeff?”
Jeff: “Yes”
Geoff: “Yeos”

24.

predictable queer@katydeedonnelly

ACCIDENTALLY PASTED THIS INTO AN EMAIL INSTEAD OF MY E-SIGNATURE, AND IN MY PANIC TO DELETE IT MANAGED TO SEND IT. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

25.

Hamish Steele @ 🔥FlameConS145!!!🔥@hamishsteele

This video cassette I found at my grandmas house still makes me laugh so much

26.

Danielle@DANITWEETSTRASH

Somebody on IG said this is Doctor Strange and I’ve been hollering since then.

natalie camacho@natdatcat

🇺🇸

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